DateCreated
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1/16/2009 8:47:00 PM
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PostedDate
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1/17/2009 6:39:00 AM
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I was holding a cigarette and I didn't have a light. Now there was this guy with his back to me. So I walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hey buddy. Got a light?"
He turned around and Oh My God it was New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg. He looked a my cigarette, looked at my face then proceeded to beat me the shit out of me. He knocked me to the ground then he did that thing where he points at his eyes with two fingers and points at me with one. He did this back and forth until his subway car pulled up. He sneered at me, got on, the doors closed behind him and off he went.
I got up and dusted myself off. Holy cow, I thought. No wonder he got elected mayor. So I saw this other guy with his back to me. I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hey buddy. "Got a light?"
He turned around and Oh My God it's Bill Gates. He looked a my cigarette, looked at my face then hit me with his Mind-Ray and I died a thousand deaths, skydiving without a parachute and being sacrificed at the foot of a volcano where just two among many. When he had his fill of inflicting the tortures of the damned he turned and walked away. I got up, dusted myself off and thought, No wonder Microsoft is on my computer.
"Hey buddy. Got a light?"
I meant a Bud Light!
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