The Mating Dance of The Japanese Beetle

As he stood to the left of the movie screen the entomology professor said, “The Mating Dance of The Japanese Beetle is fraught with peril.  Roll the film please.”

A teacher’s aide turned off all the lights then turned on a 16mm projector.  On the screen a gray numbered countdown as the projector went wrrrr.

“First we see a concrete block wall,” said the professor, “and before it we see a swarm of fleas.  Next, the camera tilts down and we are looking at a concrete floor and near the bottom of the screen, as the camera zooms in, we see a female grooming.

"She has the two chitinous covers on her wings pulled open, the edges of her wings sticking out the back so she can preen with her rear legs.  Kind of the Japanese Beetle equivalent of The Tramp Stamp, ha ha ha." 

Female students in the classroom began to squirm in their seats, one or two thinking of their own.

“Now up and to the left of our languid female we see a Japanese beetle going in circles, it seems endlessly.  He has to be the male, right?

“At this point the camera pans left and we see another female in the process of grooming and up and to her left we see another male beetle.

“Sadly in this case the poor little guy ended up on his back with legs frantically spearing the air.  If he’s lying on his wings he can’t fly.  The Mating Dance of The Japanese Beetle is fraught with peril!

“The camera goes back to our first Japanese beetle couple, the one with the male going in circles and whoops he just flipped on his back too.

“Now from the top of the screen we see a Japanese beetle scuttling down the concrete towards our first two with a black ant clinging to a back leg.

“Did he accomplish what the male beetle going in circles failed to do, which is buy dinner for the little tart beetle nonchalantly showing her bum?

“And at this moment a whole swarm of Japanese beetles lands on the concrete and takes a bad bounce and they all end up on their backs with legs kicking.

“Now the camera pans up to the left and we see a small army of black ants all over three Japanese beetles, on their backs getting eaten alive.

“It’s not looking good for the home team.

“Then the Japanese beetle with the ant stuck to his back leg rights himself, spreads his wing and flies up ten feet.  He drops that ant to his death.

“Yaaaaaaaa … !

            The Mating Dance of The Japanese Beetle.  Pages 49 to 100 in your textbooks.  Class dismissed.  Turn that projector please.”

            
           After the classroom emptied the professor said, “The fleas.  What about the swarm of fleas … ?”