Stupid White Mike

Here's a little something from page 6 of Michael Moore's book, 'Downsize This.'

'It is not pleasant when a homeless person actually knows you and calls out, "Hey, Mike!" as you are trying to walk quickly past him and his shopping cart.  This happened to me on 46th Street in New York City in front of the Paramount Hotel.  I was with a vice president of NBC and the producers of my show "TV Nation."  The homeless man grabbed my hand for a shake and told me he, too, was from Flint, Michigan, and now lives here on the street.'

'He wanted to describe his favorite part of Rodger & Me, which he had seen three years ago when he had a job.  The NBC executive couldn't believe what he was watching.  And I'm thinking, 'I know this guy!'

"You remember me, don't you?" he asked.  "I used to deliver your newspaper, the Flint Voice."'

'Why was it him standing there like that?  Why not me?  But for the grace of Warner Bros. and NBC?  I emptied my pockets and gave him everything I had.  We left him on the street and went inside, where I had a $30 steak.  The NBC suit had a salad.  My buddy from Flint was probably already guzzling his aptly named Colt. 45.'

xoxoxo

We'll ignore the enmoumous crying towel Moore is blubbering into with his 'Why was it him standing there like that?  Why not me?'  There is something more important going on here.  To wit: is it only me or is there something completely unbelievable about this story?  

I mean, here we have this homeless guy in New York City who used to deliver newspapers in Flint, Michigan until he lost his job.  ('Your newspaper', The Flint Voice, was a newspaper Mike used to write for.  Or as Mr. Subliminial might say, "A newspaper Mike used to *cough con artist cough* write for.")  

So Michael Moore is telling us this guy couldn't find any other job in Flint, Michigan delivering newspapers or something at an equal skill level?  He couldn't find a job in any other city in Michigan such as Ann Harbor or Lansing or Detroit delivering newspapers or something at an equal skill level?  He couldn't find a job in any of the surrounding States, or any of the rest of the lower 48 States, or in Hawaii or Alaska or any American territories such as Guam or Puerto Rico, delivering newspapers or something at an equal skill level?  

No.  Michael Moore is telling us that this guy, who couldn't find a job in Michigan, somehow manages to get to New York City, center of publishing IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE, and still couldn't find a job delivering newspapers or something at an equal skill level?  And ends up homeless???  

It's no wonder the NBC executive 'couldn't believe what he was watching.'  I don't believe it either.

I'm not saying it didn't happen.  But it sure sounds like a big fat phony-baloney piece of staged BULLSHIT.

As P.T. Barnum famously observed: "There's a sucker born every mintue."  Just remember that the next time Michael Moore tells you he emptied his pockets right before going into a restaurant to have a thirty-dollar steak.